We're NOT With Stupid

Since I don't have cable, I don't get to watch Bill Maher any more, except for clips that might get posted to the web. His recent piece in at Salon (click through the brief ad), however, makes perfect sense, of course, as we are never going to destroy all those who seek to use terrorism as a form of political recourse.

Naturally, the right likes to belittle those who think that getting at the root issues which brought about the attackes on September 11 is the route to take as an alternative to war. Of course, as the miserable failure has noted, his "War on Terror" is an ideological struggle. He fails to note, however, that ideologies cannot be defeated with bombs and missiles and by murdering innocent people.

Wars of ideology are won in the minds, as Maher so deftly shows.

So yes, for the sake of homeland security, I ridicule the president -- but it gives me no pleasure to paint him as a dolt, a rube, a yokel on the world stage, a submental, three bricks shy of a load, a Gilligan unable to find his own ass with two hands. Or, as Sean Hannity calls it, "Reaganesque."

No, it pains me to say these things, because I know deep down George Bush has something extra -- a chromosome. Cruel? Perhaps, but it may just have saved lives. By doing the extra chromosome joke, I sent a message to a young Muslim man somewhere in the world who's on a slow burn about this country, and perhaps got him to think, "Maybe the people of America aren't so bad. Maybe it's just the rodeo clown who leads them. Maybe the people 'get it.'" We do, Achmed, we do!

And that's why making fun of the president keeps this country safe. The proof? I've been doing it nonstop for years, and there hasn't been another attack. Maybe the reason they haven't attacked us again is they figured we're already suffering enough.

If I could explain one thing about George W. Bush to the rest of the world it's this: We don't know what the hell he's saying either! Trust me, foreigners, there's nothing lost in translation, it's just as incoherent in the original English. Yes, we voted for him -- twice -- but that's because we're stupid, not because we're bad. Bush is just one of those things that are really popular for a few years and then almost overnight become completely embarrassing. You know, like leg warmers, or Hootie and the Blowfish, or white people going, "Oh no you di-int."