You kissed me this morning
on the lips
I didn't know how to react to that
I would have liked to kiss you too
and hold you
and kiss you again
but I didn't
I couldn't
yes, my feelings (as you say) have been hurt
I feel no different
than a stranger
in this bed
in your life
(hurt feelings indeed!)
"dropped like a tool no longer required"
is more like it
I don't expect that anything I feel
that anything I write or say
has much effect on your life
(but I write and sometimes speak)
I think of you
and us
and this thing we loosely call marriage
I wonder
what do I do?
what can I do to convince you
that I have made changes
significant ones
that I have recognized
things I blinded myself to before
(I think a lot)
then
it hits me
(it always hits me with a clarity
I have never known)
that it
really
really
really doesn't matter
what changes I make
(significant or otherwise)
what feelings I have
what thoughts I conjure
what words I utter—
you will do
what you will do
you will rely on the stars
intellectuals
and counselors
you will believe what they say
because you want to believe them
they will feel sorry for me
you will feel sorry for me
and you will kiss me
* * *
Unless otherwise noted, all writings on this blog are copyright Patrick T. Power. All rights reserved.
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