Saturday, January 14, 2006

Daily 50

Last month, I undertook a project that I thought was a relatively easy thing to do — a series of self-portraits marking my 50th year.

The plan was simple: I would shoot and post (at flickr) at least one self-portrait each day from December 1, 2005 to December 1, 2006. How difficult could that be, right?

Well, aside from the fact that I got wrapped up in other things on several days and forgot to shoot anything at all, I'm finding it to be an extremely challenging task.

Now, I'm not one to go to extremes for my self-portraits. I haven't the desire to get overly dramatic with my poses, or to use props. For the moment, I've made do with existing lighting around the apartment — the bathroom window light tends to be the best (although the sun has made rare appearances since the end of November), but I've found the desk lamp at the computer to be surprisingly useful.

As I have cruised flickr for the past year, I have seen comments posted on other flickr members' self-portraits complaining the "you stream is nothing but self-portraits." That tends to be a bit of an exaggeration most of the time, but I suppose I can understand how the process of shooting self-portraits might be misundertood.

For most of us who shoot self-portraits on a regular basis, I think that it comes from the simple fact that we are our most convenient (and cooperative) subjects for portraiture. That surely is the case for me. It's not that I have any great desire to look at myself... it's about light and shadow and composition and (when I'm moved) post-processing.

But as convenient and willing and cooperative as i might be, there have been days that I just feel as though I'm way in over my head with this project. I often wonder if over the course of 360 days I can maintain a consistent level of creativity and interest, without the photographs being too similar.

Last night was an occasion in which I didn't get around to shooting until almost 11:30. I tried using the living room torch lamp as I lie on the couch/bed, but there was nothing really interesting there. I tried the foyer area (finding that the colour temperature of the light there is lower than tungsten, so that proved useful), but was again rather uninspired. I then proceeded to the basement and began exploring what opportunities were there.

I discovered a few empty storage lockers with light that came through the gaps between the wooden slats which proved interesting, but the light wasn't strong enough for the Nikon's auto-focus system. I would also have preferred to have a tripod — I suppose I'll keep that i mind for future sessions.

I was fearing that I'd not come up with anything that I liked, and at one point considered that I'd just sit up against the white wall, shoot something and let it go at that. I recognized, however, after shooting a frames, that I was sitting between two equidistant ceiling lights. It was like sitting on a copystand — boring, uninteresting light that didn't really show much form.

Moving to the north end of the room, I sat against one of the lockers, illuminated by only one of the lights, eventually getting the shot that I've posted here. Upon editing the image, I desaturated the colour, bringing my skin tones to approximate the wood behind me. The crop you see is the crop I created in-camera.

Today, there is sunshine, so I will probably take advantage of it and shoot at the bathroom window for the first time in a week or so.



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Thursday, January 05, 2006

I Want...

to write again.

The desire is returning slowly but surely... I remain Paris drunk and am sluggish at getting real-life things done of late. But real life is a moment or two from slapping me upside the head. I can feel it.


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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Hope

screenshot of a seven-day weather which shows one day of seven in which sunshine is predicted
I took Penny to the airport in Grand Rapids (she's leaving the car with me for three weeks while she's in San Francisco) and she said that as of today, we've had 43 consecutive days without sunshine.


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Weather Update

Rain.

Grey.

More Rain.

More Grey.

Update:I was told today that this is the 43rd day in a row of no sun.

Rain.

Grey.

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Monday, January 02, 2006

Crisis... What Crisis?

The new year has started out much like the last month of the one that just flashed by... it's grey and rainy outside. I honestly can't recall when the sun made a significant appearance in East Lansing. Zach said he recalls having seen it a week or two ago.

Since my return from Paris, I have procrastinated like I never have before in my life... I feel as if I'm floating in some kind of vacuum. Hah! Now there's an idea... perhaps I'm actually in some cosmic vacuum cleaner — on my way to some very undesirable destination!

I had a discussion with a friend recently about a comment she'd made one night just before I'd left for Paris. We were at a meeting and I was gushing about my upcoming adventure when she blurted out, "Well, I think it's just a mid-life crisis!"

It bothered me to hear that at the time — especially because she is one of my dearest friends — but I didn't say anything to her about it until last week.

I told her about the comment and how it bothered me, then I explained to her that the trip was very much arranged on a whim... at the suggestion of a flickr friend, and not designed to coincide with my 50th birthday, something which (truth be told) didn't occur to me until after I'd made the flight reservations. I think that the most annoying aspect of her comment was that she so easily put me into some kind of box despite knowing me as well as she knows me. I told her that, if anything, I'm having a life crisis — that it has nothing to do with mid-life.

But then, is it really a crisis at all?

The other day, I talked about this with another friend and she suggested that life is one long crisis. I tend to agree with that. We wake up each day with something new to deal with — earth-shattering or otherwise — and we have to manage our way through.